Sinister Semiquincentennial

Greetings, mortals, through the patriotic haze of this doomed week-end. A truly American ritual took place Saturday evening, full of rote prayers to end Communism, aggrandizement of the great King known as President, & culminating in weebling renditions of 80s music by soldiers trained in being a cover band. A dismal, costly, dour “celebration” of 250 years since the Founding Slave-Lords decided they hated paying taxes so badly that they would be willing to order lesser men to their deaths.

With all the eyes of the powerful ‘pon the “National Mall,” I snuck into the Columbian Catacombs, scouring for any items of worth which remain down here, in the Basement of the Empire. What do I find?—ghouls, ghosts. Embers of former President-Kings, clinging to their worldly power, demanding obeisance, hungry for a chance to inflict misery just one last time.

I have spoken, often & before, of my thoughts ‘pon this vast & bloody colossus known as the “United States.” But mistake me not—’tis not that I loathe the land itself, nor all the people in’t. The good qualities about the “United States”—family, friends, forests, food—they all could exist without the “United States.” Ye need no Constitution to live a good life, no President to make memories with lovèd ones. The arbitrary lines on a map, they make not Yosemite beautiful.

So, what doth it add, this Empire, that ye truly need? Without “America,” would ye not still have all that ye love & desire?

& before ye accuse me of hyperbole, thy Jarl Trump, he himself called “America” an “Empire,” during the grand ritual! Aye, an “Empire of Liberty,” whate’er that might mean. ‘Tis as ridiculous as calling a country of Slave-Lords the “Land of the Free.”

Nothing of value remains, down here. Only death. Look not to these “United States” for naught but warning. Thy friends, thy family, they are greater than some “country” on paper, whose most major contributions be slavery & savagery.

& thy future shan’t be born, ‘til this ye realize.

Happy 250th.

Thank ye for reading! & we humbly thank that growing clan of mortals who can & do support our works here with coin! GRATIAS!

I shall write ye come Wednesday with news of our next episode! Til then: be safe, be well, & may ye be freed of empire someday…

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Un-American