Yosemite Faire Schedule PLUS Faerie Do's & Don'ts!

“What ho? Can it be? Another faire already?” INDEED, MORTALS! With our boundless ageless energies, we shall sweep straight from our wonderful weekend in Shasta to fresh delights at the first annual Yosemite Chivalry & Fantasy Festival! Happening in lovely Mariposa on Saturday June 1st & Sunday June 2nd, we shall bring our sizzling sorcery PLUS—the return of Cutie Berry the Tír na nÓg Faerie! Watch us on the Royal Stage at 11AM & 5PM on Saturday, & then on Sunday at 12PM & 3PM!

If ye cannot join us in the mountains this weekend, tune in Friday at our usual time—8PM Pacific—for a special behind-the-scenes stream on our Twitch channel! Thanks to the brave sacrifice of several InstaGoblins, we have devised an alternative to the horrendous Twitch mobile app, & we shall have TASTY AUDIO QUALITY. OR ELSE.

For tickets to the faire & more information, visit THEIR WEB-SITE. & in the meantime, please find below some DO’s & DON’Ts for when ye inevitably encounter one of the fae folk this weekend:

At liminal times, in liminal places, the veil between worlds thins—& what could be more liminal than a ren faire? Not quite now, not quite then; not quite history, not quite high-budget fantasy; not quite America, not quite fake-Europe. At such events, the faeries now roam in greater number than ever! So please take to heart these DO’s & DON’Ts, lest ye wind up like poor Thomas the Rhymer:

DO: Ask before snapping a photograph with a faerie!
DON’T: Let the faerie bewitch thy phone. They will text her, & it will be awkward!

DO: Caper, clap, & sway along to faerie music!
DON’T: Dance upon a ring of toadstools to the faerie music, lest ye dance so long that centuries pass & ye become old.

DO: Smile politely at passing fey creatures. Who could pass up a polite smile?
DON’T: Bargain rudely with passing fey creatures. Ye cannot bargain better than an immortal trickster from a realm where time & money mean nothing. Thy threats & coupons have no power over them!

DO: Admire the dress, capes, crowns, &c. of the faeries!
DON’T: Attempt to steal their dress, capes, crowns, &c. Ye will not get away with it, & ye will be taken to the Lands of Faerie to live fore’er as human furniture.

DO: Graciously accept if invited to visit with the fae alone under the silvery Moonlight!
DON’T: Visit without protection (cold iron chains, salt for a circle, book of incantations, &c.).

The list could go on & on until the Sun grows cold, of course, but these are the most common needs for fae-faire encounters! If ye have any others to share, please be sure to leave a comment on the World Wide Web version of this missive!

Thank ye for reading, mortals! I hope to see ye up at the Yosemite faire this weekend. We truly appreciate everyone who came to see us last weekend at Shasta, our fans & friends new & old, everyone who reads with us here in the Scriptorium, & all those who graciously contribute $5 monthly to support our magicks! I shall write ye again Saturday from up in the mountains, with a bit of fresh art & a tale while we wind up for the faire!

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Elf-Friend