Welcome Back, Neelix!

A welcoming Wednesday to ye, mortals! After Neelix’s heroic journey bringing the Homunculomongus to us in the Shattered Empire, we thought he deserved a proper tribute—so join us Friday at 8PT to say WELCOME BACK, NEELIX!

Mister Neelix, of course, is the chef & custodian of the Homunculomongus—though mortals on thy plane know him best from the future documentary series Star Trek: Voyager. Centuries from now, he shall end up in the Delta Quadrant, & join the band of misfits aboard the U.S.S. Voyager—but did ye know, in the late 90s & early 2000s, Mister Neelix was EVERYWHERE on mortal tele-vision? ‘Tis true!

Below, find some of Mister Neelix’s grandest adventures aboard Voyager, as well as a surprising number of crossover appearances ye may have forgotten!

As the cheerful trader, cook, diplomat & Chief Morale Officer aboard Voyager, Mister Neelix attracted detractors, largely amongst bitter lonely-hearts who hate to see anyone smile. But his adventures—from the stirring drama about war crimes in Season 1 Episode 15 “Jetrel,” to his charming babysitting turn in Season 6 Episode 25 “The Haunting of Deck 12”—always brings something special to the screen. For a few other Neelix-centric highlights, be sure to watch his romantic turn in Season 7 Episode 14 “Prophecy,” his Ferengi deception in Season 3 Episode 5 “False Profits”—& his finale episode, Season 7 Episode 23 “Homestead,” will bring a tear to even the staunchest Neelix-hater’s eye.

But if Star Trek leaves ye cold, or ye simply hunger for E’EN MORE NEELIX, find these on any legal stream-style platform:

Moesha, Season 3, Episode 12, “Splish Splash”: In mere single-scene appearance, for his first non-Trek role, Mister Neelix plays a lifeguard during this beach trip episode. Moesha mocks his big hairy Hobbit-like feet, but Kim finds them attractive; meanwhile, Bernie reveals he used to gamble with him “back in the 80s,” & threatens “to collect.”

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 21, “Bat Out Of Hell IV”: Strangely, in this lesser-known musical episode of Buffy, Mister Neelix plays “Cheeseloaf,” a thinly-veiled parody of famed rock singer Meatloaf. His singing voice was dubbed over by Robert Goulet in the final broadcast version, but the leaked originals circulated the Internet in the early days of Napster.

Insomniac with Dave Attell, Season 4, Episode 6, “Outer Space”: Banned from TV after just one airing, in this episode Dave visited the International Space Station, & Mister Neelix was asked to be his “guide to space.” Dave’s antics fail to amuse the astronaut crew, & Neelix in particular is rather disturbed when Dave asks the crew if they “can pork hookers up here or what.”

Homeboys in Outer Space, Season 1, Episode 11, “Honky-Tonk”: Mister Neelix knocks it out of the park as an uptight white cowboy alien. I shall not spoil any more than that!

Xena: Warrior Princess, Season 6, Episode 9, “To Hair is Divine”: This episode, frankly, has not aged well; it is clear the producers wished to fend off the fandom’s “shipping” of Xena & Gabrielle, & in this episode, Gabrielle falls in love with Mister Neelix’s luxurious locks. He plays a Roman demigod named “Heteroculus,” & it seems clear the producers were hoping this romance would catch on like wildfire. Despite that, seeing Mister Neelix play a dashing romantic lead is always a treat; and, he made the ethical choice to refuse to return to the role, after finding out the producers’ intentions. Worth it purely for the scene where Xena catches Gabrielle giving Heteroculus a sponge bath!

The Bernie Mac Show, Season 4, Episode 31, “Some Milk & Cookies”: After enjoying their brief time together on the set of Moesha, Bernie asked the producers to write a guest role for Mister Neelix. This culminated in the timeless classic episode where Mister Neelix begins working as chef & butler for the Mac family. Bizarrely, his Talaxian appearance was explained away as Neelix being “Italiano or something” by Bernie, but the episode is a joy to watch.

Frasier, Season 5 Episode 25, “Raising Crane”: Roz starts dating a mysterious new man, who works as a private chef for Seattle’s upper crust. Meanwhile, Niles finds out that Maris is planning an extravagant “divorce banquet;” he & Frasier make plans to crash the party as plus-ones for the DiFontaine Twins, a pair of local celebrity harpists. Worlds collide when, upon arriving at the party, they find Roz is there as a plus-one—of her boyfriend, Mister Neelix, the party’s chef whose food is “out of this world!”

Zalman King’s Red Shoe Diaries, Season 5, Episode 1, “Three to Tango”: In this erotic thriller, Mister Neelix plays himself, as an alien who arrives on Earth looking for love. Complications arise when Agent K (played by Tommy Lee Jones, in a rare NC-17-rated appearance) shows up to arrest him. This makes it a rare double-crossover, putting Star Trek & Men in Black in the same universe, for the first (& only) time! & given the fact that David Duchovny narrates the framing story, one could even interpret this as a triple-crossover with X-Files…if one were some sort of nerd.
 NUDITY NOTE: Mister Neelix shows his butt; Tommy Lee Jones, full frontal.

Thank ye for reading, mortals! I hope ye enjoyed our little Neelix guide, & perhaps inspired some weekend binge-viewing? & thank ye also, as e’er, to the kind & generous mortals who can & do support our works here with coin!

I shall write ye Saturday after our lovely evening that, most certainly, shall not at all be interrupted with any sort of scary horror nor violence. Join us for that lovely evening, Friday at 8PT, to WELCOME BACK NEELIX! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & cook up something special tonight, ye deserve it…

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Leola Root-Enjoyer