We Regret the Invasion of Earth

Good evening, mortals! Thank ye for joining us last night; we had no idea the trees would be quite so violent & conservative. If ye missed the tree national anthem—tree-based racist speeches—& an advertisement for a disgruntled ex-husband’s pool cleaning business—head to the replay, right here!

The evening did, howe’er, end somewhat tragically—for the second week in a row! Are we the common denominator? Nay; ‘twas the trees who were wrong.

Hapax the Druid, an angry beaver, became so upset by the news stories during Mageocracy Now! (our monologue) that he opened a portal to Earth & invaded, in the name of all plants & animals on thy planet.

I taught another InstaGoblin law, & it advised us to release the following statement:

WizWorld LIVE™ & its representatives apologize profusely for any confusion that arose during last night’s show. It was never the intent of Amœnus™ nor Summersbane™ that any invasions of Earth be launched.

The issue arose from a simple misunderstanding. Hapax the Druid was under the impression that Earth only recently became filled with bad news & environmental devastation. He had no idea that the people of Earth have been suffering for millennia, nor that the people of Earth have been obliterating their own planet for more than a century.

Summersbane™ & Amœnus™ both regret the intense loss of life, on both sides, that occurred during the incursion. Hundreds of Special Forces & CIA operatives fought with the legion of oaks, pines, maples, sequoia, & their beaver leader.

Resurrecting the soldiers would unfortunately have been prohibitively expensive; we were though able to plant cuttings of all the fallen trees, thankfully!

While we certainly understand Hapax the Druid’s motivation, & share his outrage over the horrific conditions on the benighted world known as “Earth,” we of course decry his methodology.

We would like to make it clear that nobody involved with WizWorld LIVE™ encouraged the invasion, & would please like to not suffer any consequences for any part we may or may not have played in the regrettable situation.

Thank ye for reading—& thank ye to the growing cadre of generous mortals who can & do support our works here with coin!

I shall write ye Monday with a fresh art & a tale! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & I hope ye enjoy a restful Sunday…

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, #HapaxWasNotWrong