Unholidays: Presidents' Day

Presidents’ Day—FIE. What deeds of these craven kings deserve their own day? Liars, thieves, murderers all—e’en the ones ye hold in some esteem, left the White Palace with blood on their hands & stains on their souls. If a neighbor behaved as Presidents behave, would ye invite him to dinner?

‘Tis fitting that this unholiday follows the Super Bowl—both major days in America’s state religion. First, the gluttonous bloodsport; then, the somber genuflection. Gorge on commerce, & purge at the altar, all while draped in red, white, & blue. From the first, Presidents took for themselves, stole for their friends, & tortured any they pleased. From King Washington—”Town Destroyer”—all the way to Baron Biden & Jarl Trump, each one a villain. Why spend the day celebrating their dread legacies?

Spend it instead—should ye enjoy the luck not to work this day—on anything else. Tyrants spend much time crafting illusory realities, & dictating how folk ought to think; resist this perverse practice! They decree that the Gulf is now “Of America?” FIE. Utter it not! They proclaim it forbidden to acknowledge trans folk? FIE. Refuse to warp thy heart to their whims. They demand ye celebrate the vicious archons responsible for misery & mayhem? FIE. Curse their names, read up on their sins—or ignore them all! Spend the day thinking & acting freely, in defiance of the star-spangled yoke they would seal upon all our necks.

I sometimes glimpse, in the grim flames of prophecy, shadows of a world without kings, without Presidents; a world free of vapid unholidays, loosed from the bonds of this wretched Nixon Now. A society must be built, mortals; which means they may be unbuilt, & rebuilt anew. A worthy dream.

Thank ye for reading, mortals! Thank ye also to all who share our works with others, & we thank the generous mortals who can & do support our works with coin!

I hope ye enjoy a day of leisure & liberty, mortals. I shall write ye Wednesday with news of this week’s episode, where we shall celebrate a true holiday: the SUMMERSBIRTHDAY! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & never respect a crown.

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Unbrego