The Woe-Form

Wednesday’s greetings, mortals! This Friday at 8PT, we step unto the spookèd season, & a mysterious “Samhain Queen” granted us a little treasure named THE WOE-FORM! It seems tales of our artifact-quest spread swiftly—how kind of this “Samhain Queen” to assist us! So join us, to solve this intriguing puzzle-box & open THE WOE-FORM!

Are ye ready, mortals, for the coming of Samhain? The date some call “Hallowe’en?” O!, ye may believe so, but first consult our check-list! Ye may forget something important, otherwise:

Proper Samhain Preparations

Prevent Poor Samhain Performance

• Firstly, confront all thy known & unspoken fears, so they shall not affect thee so powerfully.

• Then, peer into onyx scrying mirror to foresee thy party costume choice, thus providing sufficient time to construct or gather necessary components.

• Seek out small chocolates & other fine candies, to store away & bribe disguised children therewith.

• Seek out novelty “Autumn-themed” ales & potions, to store away & bribe disguised adults therewith.

• Seek out peanut butter taffy “kisses,” & burn them in a deep pit, for no mortal ought suffer its wan & insipid stain.

• Harvest the largest turnip of thy worst living foe, & carve it into a Jack-of-the-lantern, thus transmuting his food into thy light.

• Harvest the skeleton of thy worst fallen foe, & dress in a hideously embarrassing costume, thus transmuting his fate into thy delight.

• Instigate at least one argument about the “best horror movie,” to let the ghosts of films past know watchers still care.

• Construct an altar to a belovèd or honorèd dead, to think of all month & commune with on the Day of All Souls.

  • Insult them not—leave no foul peanut butter taffy “kisses” on the altar. Ye had better offer up thy good stuff! Real chocolate—no Hershey’s™.

• Finally, be certain to inscribe protective runes onto thine own bones, so that one day, thy foes may not exhume them to to dress in a hideously embarrassing costume. Many mortals skip this step, for reasons I still cannot understand…

Thank ye for reading—& thank ye to the growing cadre of generous mortals who can & do support our works here with coin!

I hope ye shall join us this Friday as we assemble THE WOE-FORM! I shall write ye again Saturday afternoon, after we have fun with our little toy. ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & I wish ye luck on the costume-hunt…

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Samhain-Expector