The Ides of St. Patrick

Top o’Saturday to ye, mortals! St. Patrick’s Day weekend started off with a DELIGHT last night—if ye missed Paddy O’Lefty, or Cynthia’s new segment “Kiss Me Irish The World Were Different,” or our impassioned rendition of “Rocky Road to Dublin?” Hoist a drop’a the pure & watch the replay!

Headed out for celebrations this weekend? Enjoy a few tips to keep thy fests pleasant, hard-earned over centuries of carousing:

• Ask a pint of water for each serving, & good food beside, & ye shall stave off a Devil’s Morning.

• Keep a washed potato in the pocket, in case of emergency.

• Never order an “Irish car bomb,” unless ye seek a fight, or thy name be Michael McKevitt.

• Never order a “black & tan,” either, unless ‘tis to order them to come out & fight ye like a man.

• Shepherd’s pie hath sheep; cottage pie, beef. Ask not what lies inside Kerry pie.

• Finally, if someone in the pub should offer to seize Ireland for the crown, be warned: ye may have fallen into the 17th Century. If under 60, find the exit, swiftly, before ye succumb to smallpox.

Thank ye for reading, mortals! & thank you so much to the many magnanimous mortals who shoveled coal into our Hype Train last night, with Bits & subs & gifts & donations—’tis gratifying, truly, to know that nearly five years on, we still inspire such generosity & delight!

I shall write ye come Monday—St. Patrick’s Day proper—with fresh art & a timely tale. ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & remember: tiocfaidh ár lá…

Sláinte,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Rocky Road Traveler