The Billien, Caged!

HUZZAH, mortals! Last night we succeeded in capturing the last living Billien! HUZZAH, we may end their threat for good! HUZZAH, we may cure Mister Neelix! HUZZAH, our plans worked!

If ye missed our most raucous show—featuring TWO different versions of the “Monster Mash,” a hoedown that must not be repeated in polite company, & Summersbane’s business ideas, catch the replay INSTANTER!

To lure in the Billien, we seized the ruins of Wealthertop—one of many sites across the Shattered Empire, where cultists once worshiped at the literal Altar of Greed. Using our O.R.B. system, we transformed the Altar of Greed into a deathtrap for the Billien—though of course, there was some by-catch.

The cultists who once worshiped at temples like Wealthertop—though we hear dark rumors the sects survive in the shadows—loved the wealthy, & wealth itself, in all forms across all dimensions. At this particular site, they dedicated themselves to worshiping greedmongers from thine own Earth!

Jay-Z, former rapper turned ardent Capitalist, is on the left. He himself is a priest of the Greed cult, preaching to the young that if they simply warp their lives around business, they shall become truly free.

Next to him, Carlos Slim, the wealthiest man in Mexico; a ruthless monopolist, Carlos is, interestingly, a Maronite Catholic. More interestingly, he backs an organization called “Legionaries of Christ,” which is essentially a molestation factory. He also, rather interestingly, a Commander of the Order of Leopold the II. Leopold the II, of course, is famous for being one of the most savage colonizers of all time, who devastated the Congo & whose brutalities were unmatched until the Holocaust.

Behind Summersbane, on the right, is Savitri Jindal, wealthiest woman in India. Her company mines, forges, & generally exploits & scorches the Earth. She is also a politician, working with the BJP to transform India into an ethno-cult nightmare under Hindutva.

Next to her, of course, is Warren Buffett, Investor Supreme—a man whose money-lust is a central reason why America has become a financialized Hellhole. He became rich by profiting off of disaster & misery in the insurance industry, & worked hard to make America believe that businesses are not businesses—in fact, they are interchangeable little widgets, to be bought & sold on the whims of the wealthy. Though he claimed to loathe private equity, the entire field owes much to Warren Buffett.

Villains, all. Loathsome, foul, gold-bloated monsters—a saner society would not reward such creatures…alas.

Thank ye for reading, mortals! & doublethank ye to the many kind mortals who support our works here with coin—& a triplethank ye to the potent viewer who donated $15, demanding a rendition of the classic song, “Monster Fuck.”

I shall write ye Monday with the next part of my Samhain adventure, in the SEPULCHRE OF SLOP! Catch up on the first two installments, right here! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & be POWERFUL out there this weekend, battling the forces of fascism!

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Wealth-Loather