Super Tuesday Results + Bag-End Update!

Join us Friday 8PT in the beautiful, safe Shire with our pal Bartlebean! We have fled the bunker under siege, seeking refuge in Bag-End…shall we have it? Find out FRIDAY, only at https://twitch.tv/wizworldlive!

Yesterday, many kind mortals shared our voting guide—& many VOTED. Some call it “Super Tuesday,” but on many planes, ‘tis SUPREME TUESDAY. A terrible day, on which harried mortals frantically make choices for which they have too little information & no real power. We hope the guide proved useful—& the results are IN! Find them in full, below the guide:

Supreme Tuesday Results

• Donald Trump, apparently, defeated Alex Jones, & only two Republican voters had the integrity to write in “None, Please?”

• The Baron Biden won his party’s nomination, as expected, though write-in votes for “Feelin’ Doomed” tallied an incredible 39%.

• Centrist Lady won her State Assembly seat, edging out Kangaxx the Unliving, whose votes were thrown out after the midnight discovery that nearly all were cast by skeleton thralls.

• Landlord (D) emerged victorious in the run for Small Town Mayor, after his opponent Landlord was torn to pieces by the Actual Orangutan. Landlord (D) has vowed to “bring no real change” & “leave [his] house richer than [he] found it.”

• The race for County Judge brought controversy, as the government is too cowardly to honor the slew of votes for “Abolish Judges.” The seat shall once again be in the hands of a Corrupt Judge.

• HEAR YE, HEAR YE: HOWLIN’ WOLF SHALL STAND AS THE NEW TOWN CRIER! HE BIDS WELL ROPE WILLCLOTH, HIS MOST ESTIMABLE OPPONENT. GOODY MAKEPEACE, NO LONGER HAVING TOWN CRIER IMMUNITY, SHALL BE SOON JAILED & SENTENCED TO PRESSING.

• The Corporate Proposition failed, which means it will soon be appealed to the Supreme Court, where it shall be upheld.

• The Confusing Bond Proposition seems to have failed, which means the bond was approved? Or, the measure was approved but unpaid for? Results unclear at press time.

• Finally, the Baby Mining Proposition was real, & ye abstained, didn’t ye? Now those babies will toil away in the mines, going wah-wah & looking for mommy, all because ye couldn’t spend five minutes reading the Voter Information Guide. We hope ye are happy.

Well, that is DONE. Thankfully, the next one is not for…wait, 8 months? Is that ALL? & the next one shall be both BIGGER & WORSE? Mortals, what kind of system is this? Seems almost like it guarantees distress without bringing real change…ah, but that is a rant, for another dimension.

We thank heartily all mortals reading these words, & the kind ones who shared the voting guide—we cannot grow the coven without help such as yours! If ye enjoy these missives & our shows, please consider supporting us with $5 monthly—many generous beings already have, & they are fueling our filming of Fishman: the Musical: the Short Film!

I shall write ye again come Saturday, & hope to see you in our live chat Friday night at 8PM Pacific! Until then, stay safe, be well, & treat thyselves to a post-voting pie. Ye have earned it.

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Write-In Voter