Sorrow-City of Saint-Monique

Greetings on this hopeful Monday, mortals! Today, Summersbane & I finally end our S-M exile—& we have concocted a new module based on our “adventures” in this thrice-damned seaside soul-burner of a city!

Dare ye drive thy players mad by plunging them into the SORROW-CITY OF SAINT-MONIQUE?

The party rest comfortably in their meagre stronghold—too comfortably, declare the gods! Suddenly, black blood & red ichor seep from the walls, transforming all they touch into sulfurous sludge. The party flee outside, & find a coterie of clerics, ready to aid. They offer to combat the divine onslaught, & restore the stronghold to its humble glory. The party thank them, & the clerics direct our heroes to shelter in their abbey, in the heart of the nearby city. With no other choice, the party set off to the abbey; the clerics unbutton their human guises; & thus begins a harrowing ordeal in the…SORROW-CITY OF SAINT-MONIQUE!

Lure players into our most soul-draining module yet! They must summon all their wits & stamina to endure the twin demonic forces of insurance claims & societal decay!

This module is designed for infinite play, with extensive encounter tables, map segments, & our new Harrower™ System™, which ensures DMs will never want for new ways to torment, disappoint, & discourage the wily players.

Normally, we try to foster a sense of collaborative storytelling, & co-operative play, but we created this product after conducting thorough market research at CondemnaCon XIII—the premiere global event for investors, landlords, insurance adjusters, & serial killers/policemen. We discovered from those interviews that there is a certain segment of Dungeon Masters who prefer malice & misery in their campaigns—indeed, that they derive power & nourishment therefrom. & so we decided to fill this under-served, lucrative niche!

Rather than concoct a new array of goblins, hobgoblins, bogoblins, &c., we created the Harrower™ System™, which can tranform any creature, beast, or NPC into a startling, compassionless void! Even a 12-level fighter will tremble with horrified confusion when a simple wagoneer threatens to murder them for the crime of walking—or when a friendly mole-woman becomes a shadowy stalker after the mole-woman speeds through the cross-walk, even though the little pixie is holding up the DO WALKE sign, & so the mole-woman collides with the wizard’s staff as he steps down to walke, which is completely the mole-woman’s fault, & shows a willingness to kill, but ‘tis just another day of life as a pedestrian in Saint-Monique, so the wizard tries to walk it off & buy provisions from the greengrocer, then when he emerges from the shoppe, the mole-woman is there, because she turned around, FOLLOWED THE WIZARD to the store, then LAY IN WAIT for him, to scream at him despite the fact that HER CARELESSNESS caused the damage & also to threaten the wizard’s life, leaving the wizard shaken to his core, & thank goodness she did not carry an arquebus like many of the howling lunatics of Saint-Monique do, I would say this city could go to Hell but how can it go where it is already?

& more!

From inexplicable hostility around every corner, to rapacious pricing on all goods, to the pervasive sense that nobody—housed nor unhoused, rich nor poor—wishes to live there, & everyone takes it out on each other instead of trying to figure out why everything is so miserable, this module is guaranteed to eat up nearly a year of the players’ lives!

Plus, each month that passes in the game, the players will roll the dice to see whether they can leave…but even if they roll perfect 20s, it won't matter! The foul clerics of the Sorrow-City always manage new techniques to keep them prisoner!

The only possible escape, is if one of the player-characters’ fathers knows someone high up in the clerical order, & mercifully calls in a favor, so that the clerics are finally forced to conduct the restoration, which they absolutely could have done nine months ago, if only they had human hearts.

 So if ye hate thy players—or simply derive joy from inflicting bureaucratic misery—thrust thy hapless victims into the dark heart of the…SORROW-CITY OF SAINT-MONIQUE!

When buried in the rotting ruins of capitalist depravity, friends are in short supply—be sure to add some helpful NPCs to aid thy poor players!

Intriguing, eh mortals? Pick up a copy soon, before the entire run is hawked at discount to recoup denied insurance claims!

Thank ye for reading! & we humbly thank again-again that growing clan of mortals who can & do support our works here with coin! GRATIAS!

I shall write ye come Wednesday with news of our next episode—where shall the Intercalary Journey take us next? ’Til then, be safe, be well, & remember—when in the deepest depths of trouble, summon all aid ye can. No sense in saving favors for a rainy day, whilst under the deluge…

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Chaotic Good, Level 15 Arcanarchist, Escaping Saint-Monique the Hard Way

P.S.: For all the art fans, please enjoy this exclusive Scriptorium bonus, of the cover imagery without the text: