Round the Bonfire!

Goodest morrow, mortals! This Friday I reunite with Summersbane on the lonely Shattered Empire road, & we make camp for the night—joined by a wandering Troubadour! Huzzah, Dr. London Smith returns to regale us with song, we shall have a merrie monologue, & ye can expect more musick besides—so gather ROUND THE BONFIRE with us Friday at 8PT!

& like any famous artist—& the Troubadour assures us of his fame along the Shattered Empire’s highest way—his team sent along a rider. Please review it below, so we may all prepare for his performance:

Fair Wanderer:

Attached, find a rider to assure thee of a smooth & professional theatrical presentation. All provisions we spell out in great detail, in order to prevent any misunderstandings, & present the finest in contemporary entertainment.

To all provisions, thou must strictly adhere. Failure to adhere to any provision shall result in irrevocable damnation of the souls of all involved.

Looking forward to a successful showing!,
Amdusias
Duke of Hell / Tour Manager

I. DRESSING AREA

As the Troubadour plays exclusively upon the road, he is reasonable, & will not expect full-wall dressing rooms. By compromise, Wanderer agrees to set aside a patch of dirt as the “Dressing Area.” The Wanderer further agrees to avert their eyes when the Troubadour changes into or out of costume; when he relaxes before the show; & when he sates his appetites upon the post-show buffet (see §III “Food & Drink”).

II. STAFFING

As the Troubadour plays only to Wanderers, vagabonds, the lost, & the stars, he reasonably has scaled back his expectations for crew, staff, groupies, &c. The Troubadour merely requests use of three (3) homunculi (or equivalent) for the duration of the evening, which must be trained in reading music, adjusting strings, & hefting large crates. Wanderer agrees to provide crates.

III. FOOD & DRINK

As the Troubadour travels with his life on his back, & his bod on his feet, he hungers & thirsts powerfully before & after each show. The Troubadour also realizes, however, that Wanderers, vagabonds, &c., may face limited resources. To that end, as with his staffing requirements, the Troubadour has generously scaled back his requirements. He needs only the following provisions:

SERVED AT DAWN: A brace of goose eggs, fried; fresh pan-cakes with fine yellow butter, fine orange syrup, & coarse sea salt (BROWN ONLY). To be served with a jug of sweet water, & a jug of sour mead.

SERVED AT NOON: The shank of a hart, braised in the blood of a rabbit, seasoned with the bone-dust of a sow. Three (3) loaves of white bread, baked with red ale, served with fine yellow butter. One (1) onion, on a silver platter, atop a bed of raw beets. To be served with a glass of small beer, & a thimble of dew.

SERVED AT SUNSET: Whatever, not picky

POST-SHOW BUFFET: One (1) apple of each color, one (1) lettuce of each color, one (1) egg of each color, & a twelve-(12-)layer chocolate cake, topped with dirt (BROWN ONLY). To be served with a fresh milking cow, with stool & bucket.

The team & I eagerly await our fine evening, & trust that no damnations shall be required.

Compliantly,
Amdusias
Duke of Hell / Tour Manager
& the Troubadour

This Troubadour must be quite the star, ne? Thank ye for reading, mortals! & thank ye humbly to the generous cadre of mortals who can & do support our works here with coin! Venison shanks come not cheaply, to say nothing of needing to provide a live milking cow…

I shall write ye Saturday after our show! I hope ye shall join us ROUND THE BONFIRE on Friday night, with a song in thy heart? ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & wish me luck in teaching the InstaGoblins to become roadies…

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Contractual Wanderer