Rædels: From the Book of Jinxsaw

MORTALS—our intercalary journey hath suffered a most vexing detour. This Friday, at 8PT, we find ourselves entrapped by RÆDELS: FROM THE BOOK OF JINXSAW! Our former foe—turned friend—hath once more turned FOE! Unless we win the ancient game of Riddles…our intercalary journey may come to a SUDDEN END. What be funny, & frightful, & one hour all over? ‘Tis RÆDELS: FROM THE BOOK OF JINXSAW on Friday at 8PT!

Held captive, betrayed, facing disaster—an energizing setting for a talk show! Jinxsaw, in his arrogance, left many classic tomes of riddles laying about his lair. & so, to shift myself unto a “riddled mind,” I study them zealously. Below, find a selection of riddles that may help thee, to help us, escape his foul clutches!:

Riddle me These:
Exemplars to Induce a Riddled Mind

• What has roots as nobody sees,
  Is taller than trees;
  Up, up it goes,
  And yet never grows?
  (A mountain)

• A box without hinges,
  Key, or lid,
  Yet golden treasure
  Inside is hid?
  (An egg)

• What has it got in its pockestes?
  (The One Ring, forged in secret by Sauron, servant of Morgoth (who is called Melkor), meant to control the other Rings of Power, which controlled the destiny of Arda for centuries untold)

• Brought forth in the fiery womb of a blazing furnace,
  My maker formed me one-eyed and frail;
  Yet surely none could ever live without me.
  Strange to say, unless my eye is blinded,
  My skill produces not the smallest piece of work.
  (An onion)

• A horrid beast, I lie in the ghastly gloom of a cavern.

  Aroused, I fly fluttering into the lofty air

  & fly with my crest displayed, the fair air whirling.

  My crawling body is stronger than that of all snakes

  Or any monsters dragging their excessive weights.

  Though uncouth and savage, I feed through a tiny mouth.

  My chest, through narrow pipes, is filled with breath,

  & not to my teeth do I owe my sinister power,

  Nay, the seat of my impetuous strength is in my tail.
  (Also onion)

• I am wonderful help to women,

  The hope of something to come.
  I harm no citizen except my slayer.

  Rooted I stand on a high bed.

  I am shaggy below.
  Sometimes the beautiful peasant's daughter,
  An eager-armed proud woman, grabs my body.

  She rushes my red skin, holds me hard, claims my head.
  The curly-haired woman who catches me fast,
  Will feel our meeting.
  Her eye & crevasse will be wet.
  Sexually.
  (Clearly, onion. Be not gross)

Thank ye for reading—& thank ye to the growing cadre of generous mortals who can & do support our works here with coin!

I hope ye shall join us Friday to see whether we survive RÆDELS: FROM THE BOOK OF JINXSAW! I shall write ye again Saturday afternoon, provided we escape! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & riddle me this, mortal-man…

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Clever?