Prepare for a Gratitude Adjustment!

A hungry Wednesday’s greetings to ye, mortals! Normally, at this point in a year, we would engage in some ludicrous anti-consumerist spectacle, to commemorate the Earth-mortal “holiday” known as “BLACK FRIDAY.” But in the Shattered Empire, with no sickly consumerist society in sight, they have no “BLACK FRIDAY.” & thus instead, we present a grand feast special—to give us all a GRATITUDE ADJUSTMENT!

Sounds fun, ne? A pleasant way to prepare for my favorite time of all—THE YULETIDE. & such a wonderful holiday special deserves a wonderful menu, & prodigious guests! Find below, my planned repast, as well as the litany of lights I hope shall join me round the table:

MENU
All present attendees shall enjoy:

I know, I know, ‘tis quite a fantastical amount of food, but if all my guests attend—& I certainly know no reason why my guests would not—it may be JUST enough to feed them all at once:

INVITEES
Awaiting RSVPs from:

Soren Summersbane—Cynthia Weatherwax—Bartlebean of the Shyre™—Saruman of Many Colors—the Ghost of Johnny Carson—Mister Neelix—Orson Wheels—the Spectre of the Theatre—Fiammuccio—Todd the Hawk—the Moon—Slurs the Toilet—Li’l Aiydenn—Skinner—King Obe-Ron—Mayor Elric of Melnibonadams—V. Butler—the Ghost of Permy the Perma-Goblin—Seal (Realtor)—Seal (Singer)—David Lee Roth—Archmage Xanthrene—Richard Twixon—Beetlejuice (Broadway)—Beetlejuice (Real)—Beetlejuice (Lady)—Conan the Barbarian—Conan the O’Brien—that one peasant who was an old lady who said “I’m an old lady, I’m an old lady”—Gandalf the Grey—Mister Autumnus—Azog Foe-Slasher—Jinxsaw—a peasant cultist from Quaint Village, LLC—Bartleduin—Gizbeard—Paddy O’Lefty the Anti-Imperialist Leprechaun—Jimbo McMerica, the Yorba Linda Leprechaun—Satanne—HexenGretchen—Stifyn Quo—Theoden King—Gríma Wormtongue—dread Birthdagon—Recap Amœnus—Zohran Mamdani—his evil clone, Zohraan Mamdani—Chancellor Palpatine—Bimbo Baggins—Bel-Cash-Zzar—the God of Honky-Tonk—the Real Harry Potter—the Real Ghostbusters—Grimelda Stonehandle—the Liz Lord’s Wive—Tiny Tony Soprano—Dr. Frankenstein—Stromboli, Esq.—Tom Bombadil

Quite the array, would ye not say? Imagine, all these incredible beings, all on the show at once, enjoying the most unbelievably robust repast E’ER CONCEIVED. Well, ye need not imagine, for ‘t shall appear before thine eyes on Friday!

Thank ye for reading, mortals—& thank ye to those generous mortals who support our works here with coin!

I hope ye shall join me & my amazing list of mega-powers invitees Friday 8PT for a GRATITUDE ADJUSTMENT! It shall—& I believe ‘tis not hyperbolic to say—be the grandest holiday special of ALL TIME. Miss it NOT. ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & please pass the croissants.

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Eagerly Awaiting Beings to Répondre, s’il les Plait