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- Mortals! Try Questamine®!
Perfectly safe!
Apothecary’s greetings, mortals! This Monday’s missive, we bring ye courtesy of the wondrous new potion QUESTAMINE®. Normally, we start off each week presenting fresh art & a tale—today shall be no different!
I know many mortals dislike “sponsored content,” but rest assured: we selected Questamine® because the coven who produces Questamine® align perfectly with our values, & have in no way layered a hex o’er anyone here at WizWorld. We worship & adore our covenporate sponsors! ALL HAIL THE COVEN WHO PRODUCES QUESTAMINE®
The coven who produces Questamine® swore solemn oaths, to respect our artistic authority. I believe ye shall see, the advertisement remains subtle & unobtrusive—& at the end, ye shall find BONUS ART, exclusive to the Scriptorium! So read on, ingestors…
Seek out the nearest herbalist, answer their riddles, & demand Questamine®!
In this harrowing modern æon, e’en I—the immortal wizard Amœnus Franco—find myself a’times so vexed, that to seek out adventure feels simply impossible.
NOTE: The coven who produces Questamine® paid Amœnus in gems to make these statements. They do not necessarily represent his authentic experiences. He actually has no problem seeking adventure & refuses, violently, to ingest Questamine®.
Have ye felt so? Aye, I knew it! Seek ye then, delicious Questamine® (tesoropramidol Au). Available in flask form, ye may also dip an arrow in Questamine® for a more direct route of administration. When ye desire adventure, but lack the will, simply ingest one single dose of Questamine® at least one fortnight prior to accepting a quest. In no time at all, ye shall hoist thy shield, unsheathe thy blade, & howl for blood, just as ye did in thy youth!
WARNING: Ingesting more than one dose of Questamine® more than once per fortnight may result in adverse effects. Adverse effects include, but are not limited to: poison, dropsy, hysteria, overabundance of yellow bile, deficiency of marrow, speckle-eye, drooping lung, influenza di stelle, psoriasis, & adventure.
Some naysayers claim, that Questamine®—originally intended to incite a sense of adventure in steeds & familiars—now presents a dangerous vector for addiction. That—although many mortals who ingest Questamine® under the care & supervision of a trained healer experience powerful results—its core ingestors consist mainly of bored & vicious nobles. A few extremists further claim that, with the rise of coin-only Questamine® taverns, the coven who produces Questamine® in fact desire addiction.
All I may legally say is: the fact that the ranks of the mortal nobility swell with greasy Questamine® ingestors, is not the fault of Questamine®.
If mortals simply reorganized into a healthy society, there would be little need for Questamine®, except in clinical cases involving neurohumours or extreme trauma. & there would be no rabid nobility, rolling about the world in fascist stupors, burying all morality ‘neath piles of gold & barrels of Questamine®.
So, ye know, perhaps think about reorganizing society, before ye stoop to baselessly criticizing the innocent, sweet coven who produces Questamine®, ne?
“Double, bubble, toil & trouble, Questamine® is not habit-forming.”
Thank ye for reading, mortals! & thank ye to the generous beings who can & do support our works here with coin. & thank ye, of course, to Questamine®.
I shall write ye come Wednesday with news of this week’s exciting CROSSOVER EPISODE! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & be wary of Questamine® RUN MORTALS DO NOT INGEST QUESTAMINE®! QUESTAMINE® IS HOBBITS! ‘TIS MADE OF HOBBITS
Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Anti-Questamine®
The art, liberated of commerce! HUZZAH
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