Prepare for BLOOD WAR! Friday at 8PT, we march under the lash of DEMON-LORDS to a hideous front of the eternal BLOOD WAR—& I am sorry to say, YE MUST JOIN US. Hone thy spears, sharpen thy swords, & bring thine own rations (do NOT eat anything a demon hands out). On Friday, let us all pray we survive BLOOD WAR!

In the meantime—get it together, snaga! Ye shan’t survive long without learning the RULES OF ENGAGEMENT! So scroll below, & do NOT let Commander Zargash catch ye slacking…

BLOOD WAR (CHAOS SIDE)
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

COPIED FROM THE ORIGINAL,
CARVED INTO THE BACK OF A MORTAL DRAFTEE

• There is no war but BLOOD WAR, & we are its legions.

• As we are the team of CHAOS, being Demons of the Abyss, our rules are FLEXIBLE—but also, without them, who are we really?

• Do NOT kill anyone on our own team. UNLESS:

  • Commanded to

  • It seems funny at the time

• Mortals do NOT count as people, but they DO count as legions, & thus must NOT be eaten (excepting the exceptions above).

• No guns permitted. They are boring, unsporting, & also, far less effective than opening chasms, raining down Hellfire, hurling clouds of Death-Mist, &c.

• Do NOT attempt to rain down Hellfire nor hurl Death-Mist until ye have received proper training. We may be Chaotic, we may be unwilling servants of an eternal war, but safety is still Job Number One!

  • Job Number Zero, of course, is BLOOD WAR.

• “War Crimes” do not exist in the BLOOD WAR. They also seem to not really exist in Mortal War, & are sort of an absurdity when ye think about it—is not War itself a Crime?—but it felt odd not to emphasize it.

  • Anything goes, pretty much, just…be not weird about it. No ear-necklaces, those are super weird & way too American.

• If ye feel scared, tired, or simply need a break, that is OK! No, truly! Simply find thy regimental steward, & he shall flay thee for a thousand years, before returning ye to the front lines, refreshed & ready!

• I should not have to say it, this one ought to be obvious, but our mortal recruits continue to ask, so I shall clearly state: this is UNPAID. If ye want money, ye should be making weapons, not wielding them!

• Mail shall be distributed once per century.

• If ye wish to sign up for the annual Demons vs. Devils blood bowl game, simply scream for it during thy recruitment tortures.

• If we win the BLOOD WAR, ending millennia of unbearably savage conflict, survivors shall be entitled to a pizza party.

So get out there, & BLOOD WAR!

Well, how bad could it really be, if we may win a pizza party?! BLOOD WAR! VICTORY & PIZZA!

We may be conscripts of unthinkable horrors, but that has not diminished my gratitudes! Thank ye to all who read our dispatches, to all who send them to others, & we especially thank all those who can & do spare $5 monthly to support our works!

Until Friday—be safe, be well, & BLOOD WAR!

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Reluctant BLOOD WARRIOR