Mirror Affirmations for a Magick Monday

Mortal—MORTAL! Gaze upon thy mirror this Monday morning, for I am TRAPPED WITHIN. I shall spare ye the details—a reflected spell, twin curses from cursèd twin skeletons, a potion turned inside-up, &c. In order to escape, I must find a mortal to POSITIVELY AFFIRM! So please, I BEG YE, peruse these affirmations, stand before thy mirror, & speak each which resonates with thee:

I am worthy of love.

I am worthy of treasure.

I am worthy of the bejeweled Sceptre of Disintegration.

I can transform into small animals at night.

My job defineth me not.

My boss defineth me not.

The dictionary defineth me, but only in ways that I like.

Mine enemies are just jealous, actually.

I did not embarrass myself at that Democratic primary.

I can survive climate change.

He misseth me more than I miss her.

Owls respect me; sparrows, fear me.

I will eat like a champion today.

I can run as fast as a racecar, & then sleep in that racecar.

I can climb any mountain, I simply do not feel like it.

I do not need plastic surgery, despite my bizarre third ear.

I am stronger than the President, & smarter than the Bird President.

Mine ointments do not control me.

I no longer fear Captain Ahab.

If I found a magic lamp with a genie inside, my three wishes would be better than anyone else’s three wishes because I am sooo smart.

Math will bend itself to my will.

Only I can smell my feet.

Only my feet can smell my shoes.

That airplane is not falling on me.

Not only has a coercive system contributed and powerfully aided to create all the present economical, political & social evils, but it has given proof of its absolute impotence to raise the moral level of societies; it has not been even able to maintain it at the level it had already reached. If a benevolent fairy could only reveal to our eyes all the crimes that are committed every day, every minute, in a civilized society under cover of the unknown, or the protection of law itself, — society would shudder at that terrible state of affairs. And, people like me.

Mine hair looketh great today!

Now, speak this final affirmation:
O, Spirits of the Mirror! Release the Wizard trapped within! Banish all thoughts of captivity, neutralize all motes of imprisonment! Confound the cursèd twin skeletons, & set the Magus free!

I am freed! O, wise mortal, ye have my thanks! I hope ye feel deeply affirmed, & I hope reading the spell to free me was not too painful?

Thank ye for reading, for spreading the good word of our coven, & thank ye all who can & do supply $5 monthly to power our works! I shall write ye again come Wednesday, with details of our ren faire schedule & some ren faire survival tips! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & be AFFIRMATIVE.

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
I am a Wizard, I am a Writer, I am a Hungry