Heaviest Metal!

Metalest greetings, mortals! Season V now lays behind us—& Season VI arriveth after the Shasta Faire. Thus, on Friday, we begin…THE INTERCALARY SHOWS. A time between times, dancing in the gaps at the edges of the calendar—a time of STRANGENESS. & for this first intercalary, we welcome beloved HUNTER on for HEAVIEST METAL! Warm up those vocal chords, flex those rock-fingers, & be there Friday at 8PT!

Plus, to help ye transform into a more metal mode, & prepare for the first round of intercalary thrills, I assembled a PLAYLIST! Below, find my concerted collection:

Music Most Metal!

• “The Wizard,” by Black Sabbath (We once opened our stage shows with this tribute to our kind!)

• “Ace of Wands,” by Taröthead (A favored pump-up song for mystics around the world)

• “Bark at the Full Moon Tonight (Because We Turn Into Werewolves Tonight)” by Mislycanthrope (Despite its clunky lyrics, this classic contains the most metal solo of all time; during the recording, the band transformed into werewolves & ate the engineers)

• “Heaven & Hell,” by Dio (Or, really, anything by Dio—whether with Rainbow, Sabbath, Heaven & Hell, or on his own. All are MAXIMUM METAL)

• “Upon the Bluestone,” by the hierophant druid Brychan ap Anlachyffyd (‘tis the first-ever metal song, played on an imported Phœnician double-necked lyre, atop a slab that sits e’en still at Stonehenge)

• “Guard-Slayer,” by Gælan Bayle’s Shadow Thieves (This song’s title speaketh for itself, ne?)

• “No Lives Matter,” by Ice-T’s Body Count (A furiously metal declamation of the Imperium Americum’s depraved culture of killing, & a refutation of the soulless “All Lives Matter” cultists)

• “Kickstart My Crypt,” by Nëcro Crüe (Another pump-up anthem, but this one doubles as a genuine necromantic spell, & will raise any corpses within a 40’ radius (plus 10’ per level))

• “The Metal,” by Tenacious D (For a metal reminder that anyone may fall to the dark side & sell out)

Thank ye for ROCKING, mortals! & thank ye to all those who can & do hurl coin at us during our concerts, & hurl it here in the Scriptorium to support our works!

I hope ye shall unfurl thy most sleeveless concert tunics, & join us Friday at 8PT for HEAVIEST METAL! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & SING FREELY!

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Occasional Roadie