Elfin Hazards

Verdant afternoon to ye, mortals! Thank ye for crafting such a delightful atmosphere at last night’s show—despite Douglas DuBois’ harrowing ordeal in the Elven blood-cult, despite a hard-sell from an Elf-help grifter, we all enjoyed ourselves immensely! If ye missed out, catch the replay right here.

For any concerned, Douglas did escape Myth Suormista with me, & is no longer bound to produce a barrel of blood per day. Huzzah!

However, after consulting with barrister errant Higgleby Doublegiggle, we were advised that we may need to disclaim certain entities. Please see below for our legally-emphasized disclaimers:

Legal Disclamations Arising from Myth Suormista

§1: Regarding Turambar Financial Advisors

1. Neither WizWorld LIVE, nor its hosts, nor its InstaGoblins, endorse our sponsors. The InstaGoblins cannot read, & live for only three (3) days, thus lacking the context necessary to evaluate the ethical content of any sponsors or their messages.

2. Mormegil Turambar, d/b/a “Turambar Financial Advisors,” promised potential advisees that after “all the poor are dead or enslaved” thanks to the “power of money,” that Mr. Turambar & any associates would “stride the world as gods.” Neither WizWorld LIVE, nor its hosts, endorse enslaving the poor, nor the use of money as a tool of dominion.

3. Further, while WizWorld LIVE & its hosts acknowledge that malice indeed makes money, they would like to clarify that they would prefer any beings opt for non-malicious means of money-making, if any beings opt to partake in money-making at all.

4. Finally, if any come to the end of this disclamation & say, “Hey, wait a second, if the InstaGoblins cannot evaluate the sponsors, why are they in charge of the sponsors at all?,” WizWorld LIVE & its hosts would ask ye to please keep reading.

§2: Regarding Mythanneril, Leader of the Green Grove Manifestation Alchemy Retreat Center & Blood Cult

1. Neither WizWorld LIVE, nor its hosts, nor its InstaGoblins, were aware of the full nature of the Green Grove organization prior to the airing of the interview. The booking was handled by an InstaGoblin, who simply accepted the first Elf who agreed to appear on the program.

2. Further, neither WizWorld LIVE, nor its hosts, nor its InstaGoblins, were aware that our second guest, Douglas DuBois, not only had prior dealings with Mythanneril & the Green Grove Organization, but were also unaware that Mr. DuBois were held prisoner as a blood source for over three (3) years.

3. By reading this paragraph, Mr. DuBois agrees to hold harmless WizWorld LIVE, its hosts, & its InstaGoblins, & further, to waive his right to litigation against these parties.

4. By reading this paragraph, everyone agrees that the whole blood-slave situation was totally not our fault, & in fact by helping Mr. DuBois escape, basically, we are the heroes here.

5. Finally, if any come to the end of this disclamation & say, “Hey, wait a minute, were I not promised an answer to my question from §1 ¶4?,” we would ask ye to please keep reading.

Thank ye for reading, mortals! & thank ye humbly to the growing number of generous mortals who can & do support our works here with coin!

I shall write ye Monday with fresh art & a tale! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & be wary of any Elves inquiring about thy blood…

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Elf-Acquaintance

P.S.: If ye reached the end of this Scriptorium missive, & asked, “Hey, now hang on, I was promised an answer in §2 ¶5 which further promised an answer to my question from §1 ¶4?,” please forward thy request to an InstaGoblin who will attempt to read it promptly.