Dungeons & Cynthias: Recap & Strategy Guide

AH, what a wonderful night! To catch up with Cynthia Weatherwax, now ascendant Mistress of Woodly Arts; to delve in a dungeon; to learn the ways of MALICIOUS MERCY! A true adventure—an ye missed out, head to Twitch instanter for the replay!

During our dungeon crawl, we skipped to the Treasure Zone using an ancient guide; for those curious, below we have published the full guide, in case ye ever find thyself in the…

DARK DUNGEON OF THE DOG-MEN (1987)

1. AREA ONE: FOYER — This cold room of stone invites players to the RUINED HALLWAY (Area Two) beyond. Two rivers of molten gold flow beneath the sandstone archway, while two torches gutter in the dungeon’s stale air. There are no treasures nor puzzles here.

2. ENCOUNTER: KING OF THE CYNOCEPHALI — Before the players exit the Foyer, ensure they encounter the King of the Cynocephali. He should provide the main quest of the dungeon: liberating the dog-men in the BASEMENT (Area Four). It is imperative that players do NOT kill the King. He alone knows the password for the secret passage to the TREASURE ZONE (Area Five) in the RUINED HALLWAY (Area Two).

3. AREA TWO: RUINED HALLWAY — Accompanied by the King of the Cynocephali, the players ought to easily avoid the spike & gas traps in the hallway. The secret door leading to the TREASURE ZONE will not yet be apparent, not even to the King, who knows not what his password unlocks.

4. AREA THREE: POISON FOUNTAIN — After a long trudge down the RUINED HALLWAY, bring the players to this deceptive fountain. The waters seem to run crystal-clear, but there are many TOADS & FROG-MEN splashing about. The King of the Cynocephali understands their tongue, & can broker use of the ANTIDOTE which permits drinking from the fountain. Players who utilize the antidote & take a sip of the waters gain +2 TO ATTACK & DAMAGE for the remainder of the adventure.

5. AREA FOUR: BASEMENT — This is where the DARK DUNGEON’S DARK LORD keeps the poor dog-people. It is a musty area, full of lichen & dry dog food. A dozen dog-people sit uneasily in ratty, moldy beds. But, before the players can liberate the dog-people, in steps…

6. ENCOUNTER: THE TROUBADOUR — He is racist toward dog-people. This will obviously end in combat.

7. AREA FIVE: TREASURE ZONE — After defeating Heinriguez & liberating the dog-people, the players should have enough clues to find the secret door in the RUINED HALLWAY, & say the password (“ARF”). Upon doing so, they will find a chamber full of treasures, & the skeleton of a long-dead pirate guarding the treasures. As they reach for the succulent gold bars, however…

8. ENCOUNTER: THE INFOWARRIOR — A bloated, barrel-bodied buffoon steps out, in stolen boots & hat. He has lost his shirt, figuratively & literally. Players will, naturally, wish to obliterate him from all reality. There is simply no other way for this to end. Leaving him alive, to a beggar’s eternity, is not possible.

9. EPILOGUE: ASCENSION — As the dog-man-king resumes absolute control over his people, he will share with the players one of the secrets to ASCENSION. Anyone who fails to complete the steps of the dungeon in this order, will not receive the secret. It is inconceivable that they would learn any lessons or grow as people, by deviating from the set path of this module. We here at TSR™ would certainly like to see anyone try!

I suppose we showed Gary Gygax a thing or two last night, eh? We failed to reach ASCENSION, but if it comes at the cost of subjugating dog-folk & abetting Alex Jones, could it really be worth it? Nay, true ascension must lay elsewise…but until we reach it, thank ye for reading, thank ye to all who watched along with us last night, & thank ye kindly to all who can & do spare $5 monthly to support our work here in the Scriptorium!

I shall write ye Monday with fresh art & a tale. Be safe, be well, & if ye must delve in a dungeon, bring a guide!

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, An-arf-chist