The Dovecote of the Drow!

PLUS—the essential August Forecast!

Author

Amoenus Franco
July 31, 2024

MORTALS—this Friday, Cynthia joins me in the DOVECOTE OF THE DROW! With Summersbane missing, we shall send messenger pigeons across the Abyss to find him—but the show must go on! The rock-doves swore to our safety, but who knows what horrors may hatch…? FIND OUT FRIDAY!

In the meantime—I crafted a makeshift Calendarium from loose demon-webs & imp-skins, that I might bring ye the AUGUST FORECAST! Read on, to know what ye must to survive the coming month:

The August Forecast
Divined at the Witching Hour, for Mortal Benefit

  • This wretched August menaces with an aura of SOOT. Inky-black, reeking of flames, & brought to ye by CHEVRON™.

  • Prepare thine ears for a horrid combination of CONSERVATIVE FAUX-FEAR & LIBERAL FAUX-TRIUMPH. E’en more than a normal month, that is.

  • Disaster shall strike during a “WHITE COMEDIANS FOR HARRIS” Zoom call. It shall involve LOUIS C.K., but not in the way ye expect.

  • Red sky on August 12th, sailor take warning. Red sky that night, mission completed.

  • ALIENS shall reveal themselves, & then leave. They do not like Earth, & ‘tis thy fault.

  • A train shall leave New York at 3PM, going 97 MPH; another shall leave Los Angeles at 9PM, going 82 MPH. At what time shall the murders occur?

  • COSTCO HOT DOG for dinner? Mom must be stressed.

  • Shattered temperature records, & slaughter of people in unnecessary wars. I need not the Calendarium to foresee those, sadly.

  • J.D. VANCE shall prove he is normal, once & for all.

  • Baa, baa, black sheep, have ye any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, bird flu outbreak.

  • Lucky numbers: 6, 9, 12, 11, 4.7194502

  • A certain Frank shall have a very nice birthday weekend!

I hope this scrying proves useful, mortals! Thank ye for reading, thank ye for all the kind camaraderie, & we thank especial those who can & do generously provide $5 monthly to support these works!

I shall write ye Saturday with some fresh art, assuming we do not end the show trapped in some sort of evil egg. Join us in the Dovecote of the Drow, Friday at 8PT! Until then, be safe, be well, & be prepared to COO!

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Fancier

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