Circling Back on Isengard Public Offering

Many would balk at spending a night atop Orthanc—Gandalf certainly did—but Saruman the Wise Investor treated me with such kindness! Warmth, Shyre™ peaches, good company…what more could one ask? If ye missed out, catch the replay over on Twitch IMMEDIATELY.

We learned that, in his long-term goal of bringing about peace & definitely not dominating Middle-Earth as its true lord, Saruman has turned to INVESTING. Thus we we spent a bit of time in SHARKEY TANK, evaluating business ideas put forth by the dear chat! Here are a few:

• Dry Water: This was an instant hit, two AYES from the Sharkey Tank. ‘Tis water which, is water, but cannot get ye wet. Dry water also helps fire, rather than put out. Many grand applications await!

• Telewizardry: A wonderful suggestion, where one could heal remotely, & also, remotely influence the mind of the client to, say, bend their will to the service of Saru—of all the Free Peoples! CLEAR AYES.

• OakCupid: A dating app for Ents, to match them with the long-lost Entwives. Obvious double-aye. Could be valued at Every Peach In the Shyre™!

• GrimaHelp: An app where Grima Wormtongue whispers in thine ear—words of encouragement & aid only, of course. Who would not wish to be helped by kind Grima? TWO AYES.

• Great Eagle Rideshare: This will be a tough sell with Manwë, but seems WELL WORTH IT. Solves the labor & pollution problems; NickDances (who suggested Telewizardry) suggested that the Eagles could also ferry brandywine, Shyre™ peaches, &c., further improving profitability. Though we would have to begin with a small trial area around Minas Tirith, & the service would not extend into Mordor (still walking-only), the project received BOTH AYES.

These & more we discussed—truly, no one e’er has had such a fine time atop a cold wizard’s tower! & I am not saying that due to the influence of Saruman’s mellifluous voice—one that allays all suspicion of traitorous behavior in service of the Dark Lord, for why would Saruman do that…what was I saying?

Anyway—next week, I hope ye shall join us for the 200TH EPISODE—the Council of Elrond! We must escape Orthanc, put poor Summersbane back together, & head to the Last Homely House to decide: How to deal with the Elon Husks? We shall hopefully hear from many familiar voices from all around the realms, & decide on a path forward for the next 200!

In the meantime, we thank ye deeply all who watch, all who read, & all who can support us with $5 monthly. I shall write ye again Monday with a new adventure!

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Saru-Fan