Bunker Fever + March Forecast

Do not enter March uninformed!

Author

Amoenus Franco
February 28, 2024

We got bunker fever, we're all going mad

We have not left Skinner’s art-bunker since last week, & we are mad with BUNKER FEVER! The only guests whose madness matches our own are the charmingly insane goblin SLURS THE TOILET & his Gen-Z friend AIYDENN! Plus, we shall attempt in our insanity to concoct a MONOLOGUE. Bel-Cash-Zzar & Cynthia Weatherwax had to reschedule, as we are under siege from ELON HUSKS—perhaps S. & Aiydenn can help us escape? Join us Friday at 8PM Pacific, over on https://twitch.tv/wizworldlive, to find out! But in the meantime—I managed to open a portal to my Calendarium to cast the bones & conjure this essential…

MARCH FORECAST

Some newsletters bring ye news of what is—but in the Scriptorium, to end every month, we bring news of WHAT SHALL BE. Read on for the choicest items from my latest augury…

Gazing into March, from my Calendarium…

  • This March’s overall aura is INFRARED. Expect an unnerving sense of pervasive heat, & STRANGE DARK SHAPES playing at the edges of thy vision. Expect also to see THE PREDATOR. Fear not—simply avoid carrying any weapons, & ye shall be FINE.

  • The United Nations Security Council, seized by a case of MARCH MADNESS, shall accidentally vote for ONE SINGLE PEACE.

  • A RACIST COMEDIAN shall get an ENORMOUS PAYDAY that far outsizes their NONEXISTENT TALENT.

  • Also, an ENORMOUS COMEDIAN shall emerge from a swamp—a shambling relic of the ICE AGE! He shall be racist against NEANDERTHALS, & it shall be UNCOMFORTABLE, but not anything anyone can reasonably get very upset about.

  • MORE WAR. I feel like this shall keep appearing in my auguries, until humanity EVOLVES A LITTLE BIT.

  • A minor celebrity shall be SLAIN by THE PREDATOR. A wiser minor celebrity would read my newsletter, but ALAS.

  • Lucky Numbers: 1-6-3-0-9

THUS ENDETH THE FORECAST. I hope this foreknowledge proves useful—& I hope ye shall join us Friday at 8PT for BUNKER MADNESS!

I thank ye kindly for reading, & subscribing! If ye found this useful, or amusing, please share with a friend. & please consider subscribing with monies, if ye have not yet already, by visiting the upgrade page!

Gratias ago, & see ye Friday!

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Writer, Wizard, Hopeful Madman

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