Behold, the June Forecast!

MORTALS—I have not forgotten ye! Under cover of night at the Yosemite faire, I stepped through dimensions into my Calendarium. June is upon us, & I cannot in good conscience allow ye to greet it uninformed! Read on for the choicest bits of my divinations:

• This June's overall aura is MILKY QUARTZ. Prepare for long, awkward duels; unexpected momentum; & confusing flirtation.

• This month shall see the brief return of emo-goth neo-swing. Beware the rise of the Corpse Poppin’ Daddies!

• The Power Rangers will reveal themselves to the world, at a Trump Rally. Nobody will be happy.

• Beware the ballet—more than usual!

• ATTENTION, ATTENTION: CHARLIE, SEVEN, WALTZ. CHARLIE, SEVEN, WALTZ.

• A poodle shall testify against Dogald Trump, who shall be declared a Bad Boy. His supporters respond by giving him treats.

• Spiders, spiders, everywhere, & not a drop to drink.

• Lucky numbers: 12, 21, ½

• A certain wizard shall have his birthday! Gifts, accepted.

I beg ye put this knowledge to use, mortals! I sacrificed two meat pies to the world tree to acquire it. I shall write ye again Monday with tales from the faire, & then on Friday, the SEASON SIX PREMIERE! What new adventures await? COME AND SEE. Until then, be safe, be well, & HAPPY PRIDE.

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Junomancer