Bag-End Delights + Daylight Savings Blessings

Last night, what a delight! If ye missed out, catch the replay over on Twitch. Below, find some Daylight Savings Blessings, plus the sources from our friends at Jail-Mart™—but first, let us revisit some laughs!

Summersbane shone during our return to Bag-End Update—a format we licensed to a young Lorne Michaels for his fun new show, but he then stole & RUINED. I believe we restored honor to the form, particularly with the debut of “Medieval Peasant Who Prefers Old York.” A million-florin idea, to be sure.

Bartlebean would not let us in his spacious hobbit-hole, but he did show us all a fine time! He seems to be enjoying his retirement from the court, though he has recently obliterated more opponents in pick-up peach basquerade (thankfully, ‘tis legally not murder if it happens mid-game). We also dove deep into the very concept of “Wacky Races,” & learned about Bartlebean’s long-ago encounter with a certain traveler…but, most importantly, we seem to have been FOLLOWED. Could he be an agent of the Elon Husks?? We shall find out next week…

In the meantime—for those curious about one of our sponsors, Jail-Mart™, ye can find their list of collaborators in the Worth Rises database. Simply filter by “Supports Prison Labor,” & remember: No matter where ye shop, ye are shopping at Jail-Mart™!

Daylight Savings Blessings

Every year, I attempt to stop the turning back of the clock; every year, the Powers-That-Be send wretched agents to stand in my way! I know not why ye do this “Spring Forward” nonsense to thyselves, mortals. Is it not punishment enough that Winter fades, heat rises, & the days grow long? Why add to the misery? But, I suppose, ‘twould not be proper mortal society if misery did not increase…at any rate! Please find below some benedictions to carry ye through this trying anti-time:

• May the sacrificed hour be one ye were going to waste anyway.

• May thy boss forget, & thy customers sleep in.

• Blessèd be the coffee, blessèd be the backup alarm, blessèd be whoever ends this tortured cycle!

• Look ye North, & consider moving to a place where it stays cold & dark most of the year. Look ye East, & look at how early the stupid Sun comes up now. Look ye South, & envy the hemisphere moving into Autumn. Look ye West, & realize ye are actually late come ON

• Domina Nemesis! Do tibi horam et horologium. Qui illos tulit, non redimat, nisi tempore suo!

That ought to cover most DST-related situations, I should think! I am sorry that I could not best the Dread Triumvirs this year—mayhap in 2025. For it will come, sooner than we might like. So let us enjoy the hours we have, even if we misplace one for a bit, ne?

Thank ye to all who tuned in last night, to all who read these very words, & to those who support our work here with the welcome gift of $5 monthly! We could not have survived 195 episodes without the laughter, support, & friendship of all of thee. I shall write ye again come Monday, with the next chapter of Summersbane’s adventure—until then, rest well, for ye shall need it…

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Pre-Emptively Sleepy