Another Preventable Blunder

Saturn’s Day greetings, mortals! I hope ye all are well, despite our disastrous mistake last night, wherein we accidentally bathed the Oligarch Scumyard in resurrective liquid, causing them to rise up in anger. WE ARE SO SORRY.

If ye missed our litigatory debate with Tanner Soapstone—our Hypeing Bolt Monster Mash—& the delightfully unexpected appearance of Slurs the Toilet—get thee to the replay, go!

As this dispatch arrives to ye, at this very moment, FIGHT OPERA is live! The “No Wrestling Live” special, hosted by Roy Hammer, which Slurs dropped by to promote! If ye are not near Austin, ye can watch it right here!

One of last night’s sponsors, Abyss’s Kisses—the dating app for demon women & the mortals who love them—let us know that they experienced a 666% increase in signups after the show!

It heartens us to know we have cultivated an audience who so strongly supports our sponsors! When corporations like Abyss’s Kisses know our fans are willing to sacrifice their immortal souls for one date with a demoness—that they are so willing to enter into an eternal contract for one ravishing night with Abkazrith or Lilitu or Jennifer—those corporations are more likely to choose our show for commercials in the future. THANK YE & GOOD LUCK.

Thank ye for reading, mortals! & thank ye to all those who joined us live last night, & who support our works here with coin!

I shall write ye Monday with fresh art & a tale! & next week, we shall deal with this Zombillionaire menace ONCE & FOR ALL. ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & remember, when on a date with a demoness, bring protection (a silver cross & Bible).

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Sorry