Greetings, mortals! Feeling brave this morn? Prepared for adventure? Then read on, & enjoy this sampling from our classic tabletop RPG module series, “Advanced Dungeons & Dooming!”

The Soul-Stone of Mal’Archon!

This module is the conclusion of the disheartening “JB” series (“The Menace from Delaware,” “Debtor’s Prism,” & “Vice: The Rise of Diamond Joe”). Adventurers will face down Joe Biden’s final form, “The Mal’Archon,” an ancient harbinger of utter doom! Note that without sufficient experience & equipment to stave off abject despair, most will find this challenge nearly insurmountable. We recommend that Doom Masters™ run this with a group of players from stable democracies, at no risk of fascism, who are not constantly menaced by the whims of Capital, & whose characters are at least level 14.

Fiend Folio

The goal of this adventure is to keep the Realm running for at least four more Summers; if the Warlord ascends the Resolute Throne, the module ends in total disaster. The Mal’Archon, rather than a king in need of rescue, is in fact the main obstacle. His various feeble foibles, & callous warmongering, cause such despair that the common folk (& possibly, the players) may lose all faith in the Realm itself.

Play begins in the Ivory Tavern. The party have heard tell that the Mal’Archon’s soulstone, long thought lost, is in fact hidden somewhere beneath the Resolute Throne itself. They will have to navigate the wretched Capitol Dungeons to retrieve the Stone; but delving is only half the battle! Once in their possession, they will then move to…

Phase II: Politicking

At this point, players should possess the crackling red SOULSTONE OF THE MAL’ARCHON.
(For Phase I: Dungeon Action Committee, please subscribe to the full edition of this module on Dungeons & Dooming Beyond, for only $79.99 per week!)
Merely holding onto the stone will cause painful despair to the player who wields it; they must roll a Save vs. Wisdom once per day, or spend 1d3 rounds contemplating what on Oerth would make someone behave as the Mal’Archon does.

Players of Good alignment will feel an overwhelming compulsion to shatter the stone, freeing the withered soul inside. Note that doing so will not compel the Mal’Archon to step down! Trapped for so long, the remainder of Biden’s spirit can no longer animate his husk, nor guide his actions. Rather, the power of the stone lies in its use as leverage. People believe that Biden may have a soul, & may be compelled to see reason. Shattering that illusion will reduce the party’s ability to convince Viceroy Harris or Hunter the Knave to act.

The usual path to victory comes from convincing the Realm’s rulers, & the Mal’Archon’s court, to replace him with Viceroy Harris. Her strength lies in the fact that she can face the Warlord in battle, without falling over or becoming immediately confused. Her basic soundness of body & mind will be sufficient to rally the Realm…though the rot in its institutions & ruling class will not be cleansed. Another threat will rise, a few years down the road, should the campaign continue.

A more difficult path lies in finding someone other than Viceroy Harris to seat atop the Resolute Throne; there are, frankly, few good options among the nobility, unless the DM should decide to invent one. And, the same rot will persist, as it would under Viceroy Harris. However, creative & long-thinking players may opt for the…

Enhanced Victory Path

Note that few will ever consider this path, & fewer still ever attempt it. This solution requires vast amounts of gold, incredible Charisma scores, & ungodly amounts of Luck. But if a DM should be so lucky as to referee a party bold enough to attempt it, the story shall be well worth the trouble.

To cleanse the institutional rot, & strip the cruel nobility of their power, the players would need to orchestrate a change of government. One possible option is to create a Third Faction, of liberty-minded folk, who can install their own agent on the Resolute Throne. We leave it to the DM to concoct a suitable personage; some templates can be found in Appendix F: Wishful Thinking. Another possible solution, far more difficult but far more effective, would be a total overhaul. That is, a shift from a monarchy to a more responsive & responsible form of government. This move to Anarchy, or True Democracy, is the most difficult path of all. For stats on crucial NPCs for this path, like Boutros Kropotkin, Mua’Dib Bookchin, & Arminia Goldman, see our full-color supplement Deleuzes & Demigods.
(available on Dungeons & Dooming Beyond, for a subscription of only $499.98 monthly!)

Seems we are all of us playing Advanced Dungeons & Dooming for now, eh mortals? May we all roll 20s…& remember, ‘tis a game best played with a community!

I am grateful for the coven we have built; ‘tis difficult to imagine plowing through these times alone! Thank ye to all who read these scrolls, to all who join us on Fridays for our broadcasts, & thank ye to those who can & do spare $5 monthly to support our works here! With the recent increase in subscription prices on Twitch, the Scriptorium becomes an even more appealing bargain! Bezos’ greed, is our gain…but of course, both beat out the ridiculous prices of Dungeons & Dooming Beyond, ne?

I shall write ye come Wednesday with tidings of this week’s foray into the Demonweb! Until then, stay safe, be well, & keep rolling those Charisma checks.

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Doom Master™