A Visit to S.E.E.D. PAC

& a gander at the line-up

Author

Amoenus Franco
April 08, 2026

MORTALS—as we near the Shattered Empire’s far Western shore, we take this week a brief detour Southward to a grove, that we may witness S.E.E.D. PAC! An important political conference, we are told, for trees, plants, & allied druids. Few mortals e’er chance to observe the proceedings—join us for a rare glimpse of forest culture & politics, Friday at 8PT!

Along with our ticket purchase—hideously expensive, but thankfully, they accept flesh as currency—we received a small brochure. Inscribed upon parchment (NOT paper, quite pointedly), it provides some highlights of various speakers & cultural events during the three-day conference. ‘Tis thus, I am given to understand, a fair overview of what we may expect during our brief time there on Friday:

S.E.E.D. PAC, Year Zero
Sylvan Ecumenical Electoral Driade-Duguþ Political Action Conference
First Annual, of the Frēo-Ġēar Epoch

  • Opening Prayer Breakfast (no vegans/cannibals permitted)

  • Vigil for Holly Kirk, Founder of Turning Leaf

  • Speech: “On the Inherent Conservatism of Trees”

  • Panel Discussion: Weed “Killer” from the “Make the Woods Healthy Again” Perspective

  • Speech: “Why the Gods Agree With Us & Only Us”

  • Panel Discussion: Do Vaccines Really Cause Acornism?

  • Entertainment Hour: Comedy by Rob Cedar & Dave Chaparral; Patriotic Songs by Kid Branch

  • Entertainment Panel: Retaking the Culture through Racist, Tree-First Comedy

  • Prayer Lunch (presided over by Billy Graythorn)

  • Networking Hour: Meet & pitch products to a who’s-who of entrepreneurs like Mike Linden, Ilex Jones, Milkbark Cuban, & Elderberry Holmes!

  • Q&A: Holly Kirk’s widow, Eucalyptus Kirk, on how making a lot of money softened the blow

  • Keynote Address: Hierophantic Candidate Carnimírië Lassemista Orofarnë presents his Tree-First platform

Thank ye for reading—& thank ye to the growing cadre of generous mortals who can & do support our works here with coin!

I hope ye shall join us Friday for a fair & balanced look at S.E.E.D. PAC! I shall write ye again Saturday afternoon, presuming we are not tarred & feathered by the attendtrees. ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & may thy king crumble soon…

Cheers,
Amoenus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Cannot Wait to Hear the Comedy Stylings of Rob Cedar

Reply

or to participate.