A Very Merry Unbirthday

Unbirthdaily greetings, mortals—this Friday, we rest a moment in the Shattered Empire for A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY! A rousing celebration of the most evil necromancer I know—featuring high spirits, especial guests, & festive human sacrifice so BE THERE this Friday at 8PT!

Whilst seeking party guests, I recalled that back on Earth, ‘tis ASH WEDNESDAY. Which means, beings all across that sad planet are about to attempt the most ancient & noble rite of LENT. What are some of our most puissant pals giving up for 40 days? Find out below:

LENTEN ABSTENTIONS
Sorcerous Self-Discipline in Action

• CYNTHIA WEATHERWAX, HEXOLOGIST — “Men & wines under 300 years old.”

• BROADWAY BEETLEJUICE — “Interrupting shows.”

• PRINCE ORCUS, LORD OF HELL — “What? Nothing. Why would—I’m a demon prince, why would I give anything up? For Lent, are you kidding? What’s He ever done for me?”

• AMŒNUS FRANCO — “Unfounded despair, & icèd cream.”

• ORSON WHEELS, THE CLONE OF ORSON WELLES WHO IS HALF-JALOPY — “Fine French essence.”

• TARZAN BOY SANTA — “Swinging.”

• MISTER NEELIX — “Leola root stromboli.”

• SOREN SUMMERSBANE — “Oh, virgin blood. I just—the way they harvest it, have you heard? I read a codex on it the other day. They keep the poor virgins like veal! No good. No good at all. Yes, after Lent, for me, free-range virgins, or nothing. Even if I have to travel to fighting game tournaments & harvest it myself. Evil is one thing—cruelty, another.”

Thank ye for reading, mortals—& thank ye to those generous mortals who support our works here with coin!

I hope ye shall don thy gayest fest-raiment & join us Friday 8PT for A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY! ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & keep close count of thy bones…

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Partymonger