A Successful Evening

Good afternoon, mortals! Thank ye for joining us last night—we secured our first magickal artifact! HUZZAH! If ye missed our treasure triumph—if ye missed the sacrifice of ideas from the twisted mind of Summersbane—if ye missed an official government message from Platinum Pete Hegseth—behold the replay, right here!

What a thrill, to uncover a treasure live on the air! & not only did we find the artifact we sought, but we gained entrance to Andy Richter’s entire vault! Inside were many beings once featured on the Conan show of old, as well as a great deal of coin, & sumptuous culinary delights.

Some outraged viewers have sent ravens to me, bearing upset messages, wondering why we did not simply seize all the coin, & use those monies to save Earth, rather than continue on attempting to accrue powerful items. I understand the confusion!

Sadly, the vault lay beneath Burbank. In order to make use of the monies therein, we would be forced to declare them to mortal authorities, & pay taxes thereupon! & that would only be after we found a way to prove legal claim to it, presumably after a lengthy court battle with Mr. Richter—which, without said coin, we could ill afford!

& so, as ye surely agree, ‘tis easier to travel the globe in search o’ the Holy Grail & other potent items, than to try to explain a cash windfall to thy government.

Thank ye for reading—& thank ye to the growing cadre of generous mortals who can & do support our works here with coin!

I shall write ye Monday with fresh art & a tale. ‘Til then—be safe, be well, & please do not notify Andy Richter…

Cheers,
Amœnus Franco
Wizard, Writer, Treasure-Possessor